Constant Stream of Consciousness
by Loki Yamimegami
Summary: Series of oneshot chapters reflecting current state of Teen Titans. First involves Robin & Ravager, the second deals wth Issue 37 and the reprecutions of Cassie's actions. Language, suggestive.
1. Contentions

Ok so I find Rose's character to be so cool and so fun. She's a new spice in the Titsans recipe of bittersweet angsty goodness. Her dynamics are just Fn awesome. And I find it h umurous how she tries to seduce to Tim. So I was inspired for a quick ficlet.

Disclaimer: If owned these people, would I write random one chapter stories? Would I post them online? Seriously… :P I don't not own DC, Robin, Rose or Titans tower.

One year has been like twenty. A lifetime ago, he was Robin a member of Young Justice. Another life time, he was Robin, part of the Teen Titans, with his best friends at his sides and the coolest mentors a hero in "training" could ask. He was fair from being in "training" now. A new life, a harder one. A world that's changed so dramatically its hard to believe the lives sacrificed to save it.

Normally Tim was not a morose sort of thinker. But after it all, after everything even before the crisis… since his father passed away, he has aged dramatically and his once endless optimism is now a shimmer in a sea of fatigue, hopelessness, loneliness… and mourning.

He never really could get over his father's death. Nor that of his closest friend, Conner, Kon… but above all, Superboy.

But what was expected of him? In the end he was still human, a boy, suffering in his own way, in his own heart. How could he think about anyone else? Not just Cassie, not just Bart or Raven… the Team…

Team? What team, there was no team anymore. Just a group of damaged individuals staying in an awkward shaped building managing, some times, to accomplish doing some good to make up for the problems in their own lives. So why was he here? Why did he come back and why the hell was he trying so damn hard?

There's no idealism. He's not trying to live up to anything or prove anything to anyone. Tim had always been above that. Not that he would admit it. Why is here?

For Conner. For Cassie. For Bart, Raven, Garfield… and the future he never wanted to see coming. In a post-crisis future where not Conner but Superman died as long as Wonder Woman and Batman. A future where everything was dark and…lost.

Even if they survived the crisis, he knew in his heart giving up on the Titans was a grave mistake. Despite it all, the Titans were always the one team, set apart form the others, that lived up to what they were. A family.

His family.

And he couldn't give up on that, however dysfunctional it had become, new members included.

He walked to his room, slowly, as if he were dreading it. This latest life was testing every aspect of his existence, such as patience, temper, and sanity. His immediate dilemma was the presence of the unbalanced Rose Wilson, every bit the lunatic her father was… is.

At least once a week, she'd attempt to place in some awkward sexual situation where he almost always had, of all people, Kid Devil walk in inopportunely. The kitchen, the locker rooms, the pool, his bed room… was nothing sacred? At this point, the new "leader" of this current incarnation of the Teen Titans, was debating whether it was worth it going to bed. Was it even worth it to have her on the team? Damn Dick and his impossible requests.

She was impulsive, reckless, completely impossible and far to crude for Tim's likings.

Not that he ever thought of liking her.

The thought alone made his stomach churn a little and a bad taste rise in the back of his throat.

Finally, Tim approached his door with resolve after pacing and thinking about his options. He opened his door and his opaque eyes took in the darkness. His eyes then flashed to the corner and he sighed heavily, in annoyance, disappointment and above all in fatigue.

"Rose, enough is enough…" He said bitterly, stalking into his room.

The scewed up child of the Terminator slunk out of the shadows, cocking her head abit to the side and allowing her lips to curl up seductively. "Oh come on, Tim. All that tensions needs an outlet somehow."

He practically sliced the air with his cape as he yanked it off and tossed it over his chair. He sat on his bed and gave her a weary gaze. She shifted, not unphased by his stare.

In fact she did this mostly because it was the only way he would look at her.

She approached him, clothed but not by much. A silky top and shorts. If you could call them shorts. "Oh one day, you'll say yes… and it will be the best night of your life."

She crawled onto the bed and settled behind him, a hand on his back.

Definitely the protégé of Batman, she thought, disappointed as her wandering hands procured no response from him except hanging his head and muttering incoherently. Which itself could have been taken as mutterings of desire except for the words "ridiculous" and "inappropriate" that she caught. And last she checked, those weren't words of sweet nothings. She sighed in agitation and laid on her back.

"What is it with you? I'm not saying marry me, let's fall in love, or anything retarded and pointless as that. I'm saying, let go and have a little fun, you never know… you might like it." She propped her head on her hand, watching his head rise. "Or are you so chivalrous that you think sex can't be a 'casual' thing?"

"… I hate you. From the bottom of my soul I hate you… It has nothing to do to what ideals I have or don't have about sex. It has nothings to do for a lack of wanting to have fun or whatever you think it is. It comes down to, I don't think of you that way, and that thought bothers me and I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. I'm really fucking tired and there's just no end to you and your problems."

A long moment of silence as Tim closed his eyes, scolding himself for loosing it. Neither of them moved, but he could feel her stare on him… was it hurt? Was it anger? Was it nothing? There was a shift of weight on the bed, padding feet and then his door shut.

As much as he would like to care, he couldn't. He was just too relieved.

Except that the padding returned and long, really toned legs stood in his visage. His hung head rose again and he frowned.

"Why do you have to be everyone's hero, Tim? Yes, Tim, Timothy Drake, not Robin, not Titan, not anything but Tim. I never asked you to even care about me and my problems, no one has. And if that's why I'm on this team then Id rather leave."

"Last I recalled, the Titans didn't come together to deal with each other's issues, though it seems that does come by … often… But it's a choice, a choice we make, a choice you made and everyone else past and present…"

She sighed and sat down next to him. "We're here… to be a apart of something… something we lack, or that we do have and isn't right, or something we have but is so wrong it's horrible to imagine… Something we need. Family."

She turned to him, her eyes suddenly more like the Rose he remembered in that future he so desperately wanted to avoid. She sighed and turned away.

"Well, not your traditional family… but you know what I mean. Yes I'm fucked up, hello, you know my dad… you know what he did to me. I've seen darkness, I've been tainted, Tim, I can't go innocent immaculate virgin angel over night. But just because I'm different, a little wild, or a little… daring… doesn't mean I won't lay my life on the line for this team we all see you try so hard to keep together. It doesn't mean I won't do the right thing when it counts. It just means I'm that one family member that's fucked up. That's it."

She then took in a deep breath, as if tired of being so out of character for herself. He stares. A mixture of being shocked as hell at how quickly and necessarily she sobered up… and being impressed by her honesty. He blinked then smirked a little, looking away and shaking his head.

She shifted, frowning and sounding far more insecure then he had yet to hear her. "Are you laughing at me?"

"No… no… more at myself…" He looked back at her. "Don't worry about it… and thanks, Rose." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. She didn't anticipate the heat or the flutter in her chest. It's a girly way to think about it but he did make her heart so much lighter… it was like being so close to the sun with him. And sometimes you just have to try to reach to touch it for the wonder of it, even if you know you can't have it.

She touched his cheek and stared. She then smiled and shrugged. "Whatever." She dropped her hand onto her lap. "I'll leave you be now…"

"No, stay… we could…" He trailed off actually thinking what it was they could do. He didn't want her to leave now. And he had shown that. But he didn't want her to think that he wanted to sleep with her. Well, not how she wanted at least.

"… Play cards?" she suddenly offered, clasping her hands behind her back and tilting her head, smirking.

Tim chuckled. "Sounds good."

She sat down and grinned. "How about strip poker?"

"… Rose…" He shook his head, hitting her with the pillow. But it was in good fun.

Fun… did he even remember what that was like?

One shot. I don't see Rose and Tim as a couple. But I do see them developing an odd sort of friendship.

Review please


	2. Breathe Me

Takes place after issue # 37

Personally I have no idea how I to come to terms with what Tim and Cass did. I don't know because I would if I died, MY best friend wouldn't hook up with my lover. But I guess I know my best friend(s) wouldn't do that. (Well, 2 of them I'm sure to be honest).

So what I decided the best therapy would be to put myself in their shoes, so I did a one shot as Cassie right after the kiss. I hope I capture her state of mind well enough…

Disclaimer: Yeah, like if I could make money on fics or owned these characters, Id post my stories on a fansite…

A song that helped me find where Cass/Tim were emotionally during the kiss scene:

Sia – Breathe Me

"Ouch I have lost myself again  
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,  
Yeah I think that I might break  
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
I'm needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me"

Why. Why did he do that… or did she? No, it was him. He had to have done it because she would never do something so wrong. Oh Zeus, Conner if you were still alive...

But he wasn't. He was dead, gone. The past year has been hell coming to terms with that. Cassie has never felt so alone because of it. She missed him.

Cassandra Sandsmark, Wonder Girl, protégé of Wonder Woman and Troia. Well, she had been at least. Now she seemed to be more a force of her own, on her own. And curse her for thinking this, but if it weren't for Ares, even truly alone.

She came back to the Titans, perhaps to fill some great paralyzing void inside her. To ease this throbbing pain that threatened to consume her whole being. It scared her to think that she could no longer remember exactly how it felt to feel Conner's hand against her skin, his lips against hers…

Perhaps then it was she who did it. In a moment caught up with sorrow and loneliness and desperation… she reached out for something she needed, longed for. But Tim was not the person for it.

Et tu Cassandra?

She curls up, sitting on the roof, staring intently into the open bay, the San Francisco skyline glowing with the down cast mist capturing the moonlight. She remembers seeing it with Conner, flying with him, his hand in hers… she remembers feeling complete, as if she was no longer alone in the world. She felt like she knew herself with him. She thought he felt the same.

But no, he needed to get himself killed to find out who he was. Couldn't he find it in her? Couldn't he trust that she could not love a Lex Luthor or some clone of Superman. She loved a hero, the only other heart that was like hers… She loved Conner, Kon-el… Superboy.

But he wouldn't be the Conner she loved if he hadn't done what he did. If he ran away from it, he would not be Superboy. She only wished it hadn't taken his life.

"Cass… are you crying?" came a sudden intrusion through the night air.

She gasps and straightens up, surprised that she had, in fact, been sobbing insanely. Had the pain over come her so terribly? Had Tim torn open the wounds that had begun to heal so slowly? Was it wrong of her to have begun to let Conner go when Tim had not?

She tried to ease her breathing and relax but couldn't as she felt Vic come closer, his metal feet not nearly as noisy as most would expect. He knelt beside her and she effectively turned her face away. He frowned.

"Cass, we just… what happened?" Concern was thick in his baritone voice, confusion even more evident.

"I don't think I'm ready for this, Vic. I think I over estimated myself, I can't… be here. It's not the same without Conner." She murmured, closing her eyes. What have I done… what now?

He frowned, watching her. And in that moment, Victor Stone realized why he needed to be here. In the end, they were all just kids, even Tim. He sat down. And being teenagers, would be too stubborn to admit they needed help. But he was 'one of them' in their eyes and he could be the help they needed. Like she needed.

"Cassie, Conner wouldn't want you to be alone…"

"Then why did he leave me!" she cried out angrily. Vic frowned. "Why did everyone leave me! Conner, Tim, Bart, Donna, Diana and even you! I didn't choose to be alone, everyone abandoned me… why, Vic? Tell me why!" She trembled, covering her face. "I was so scared, so confused and in so much pain… so scared of where that pain would take me and so scared that I could never be happy again. And I can't. Vic, I can't be happy anymore…"

He reached out and pulled her suddenly into a surprisingly warm embrace. Given she couldn't sink into him as she did with Robin or anyone else but the impact was still oddly soothing… pacifying. She shudder and began to cry. "You can be happy, Cass, Conner would want you to be happy…"

"But… Tim…"

Victor's brow furrowed and tilted his head aside. "He would want Tim to be happy to. He loved you and Tim dearly, you obviously… and Tim as his brother."

She clenched her jaw, curling up and dreading this horrible confession, admitting to such a betrayal as could be done. "But… Victor I did … something… we did. We kissed and now-"

"Whoa, whoa, stop. Breath…" He pulled her back a little so she could look up at him, so he could see her conflict in her clear blue eyes. He frowns deeply. "You … and Tim?"

She winced and nodded. "… Yes."

He sighed and touched her cheek. "Cass… It doesn't mean your love for Conner is any less… in fact, it makes sense. I can't tell you whether or not it's ok…" He just couldn't make that judgment. On the one hand, if Conner were still alive and Tim and Cass locked lips, he'd be lost, betrayed, and pissed as all hell. But on the other hand he was not. And he left behind two people that needed him. They were mourning, alone and turned to each other. Who better then his best friend, who else would be good enough for Cass?

"Just… Remember… he's gone, he died a noble death, Cass, but he died nonetheless. And you loved him and love him still… it doesn't mean that that love won't change or that you can't love someone else. He'll always be… your first." He briefly remembered Roy and Dick and the loss of Donna…

Her… first. She briefly recalled- No… no more painful memories… She flushed and looked away.

"I don't know… if I'm comfortable with all this… Not with Tim."

"Perhaps it was just spontaneous?" he offer, not pushing the idea of her moving on, especially with Tim.

"… I don't know." She admitted softly.

Victor sighed and leaned back, shaking his head. Teenagers. "Talk to Tim. Not now, mind you… but you need to talk to him. You will only know when you two are honest with each other." It was the only thing he could offer.

She sighed and looked up. He touched her shoulder. "And Cass… you're not alone, not anymore. This is still Titans Tower… it can still be your home, if no one else, you have me. I won't leave you. And I don't think Tim wants to leave you again either."

"… I bet Rose wants to leave me." She murmured, her blue eyes looking back toward him.

Vic chuckled. "More like she wants you gone." He sighed at her brief attempt for casual jokes. It was nice. She closed her eyes.

"Thank you, Vic…"

"It's what I'm here for after all. My joints are feeling creaky, I'm going to go-"

"Good night, Vic."

"Night Cass…" He turned and left her there, stare gazing. She sighed and closed her eyes. When she was sure she was alone, she lifted up, flying up into the sky until the Tower below was a small strip of black. She embraced herself and sighed.

"Conner…"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I might be moving on, I'm sorry that I've lost hope of you ever coming back how I remember you. I'm sorry, above all, that… it's Tim. Perhaps it could have even been Bart if he had stayed." She laughed as the tears fell at her attempt at a joke. "Oh Conner… I won't forget you, no one will… but I wish you could tell me… tell me its ok, tell me that I can… let you go…"

But only silence responds to her… and a breeze that caresses her face and brushes her hair back. Silence. Always silence…

Ok, so I guess I can make sense of it, obviously. I just… I don't know if I want Tim and Cass as a couple. It's like, great, THEY had a year to get over it but I haven't! pout pout

Anyway, Reviews welcome


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